20+ Ways to Be Intentional with your love

“Don’t sit down and wait for the opportunities to come. Get up and make them.”

-Madam C.J. Walker

Setting intentions is so important! And with the New Year just around the corner, so many of us are making vision boards, creating budgets, researching workout regimens, etc. We are setting our plans now so that we may successfully meet the goals we have set for ourselves. Yet, with all that goal setting and planning, let’s not forget to be intentional about showing our spouse that we love them this year. I know it may sound like a “duh moment”, but as we look back over this year, how many times did you intentionally do something to show your significant other how much you admire, respect, cherish, and love them? I can honestly say that I could have done more. Let’s be intentional!

How to Make it happen

Now, I am going to propose something that many may not agree with, and that’s okay. Just hear me out. IT’S OKAY TO SCHEDULE YOUR ACTS OF LOVE! Yes, I mean literally schedule them. 

• You want to send those “thinking of you texts”, but time gets the best of you while working? Schedule them. 
• You want to leave love notes for them to find in the morning, but the kids’ needs distract you? Write them in advance and schedule days to sit them out
• Wish you could find a way to lighten your spouse’s load while you are working late? Order a family meal and schedule the delivery time. 

I am definitely not saying that spontaneity can’t happen, but marriage has taught me that life can get in the way of the many ways we want to show our love. Sometimes we get so into these routines of working and taking care of the family that intentionally showing our love for our spouse sometimes gets pushed aside. We know that our spouse loves us; we say it everyday, we share hugs and kisses daily, we listen to their feelings, and we pray together. And while these are all great ways to express our love for one another, before you know it they can become just a part of the routine.

Discover Their Love Language

Need some ideas on how to be intentional? First and foremost, make sure you know how they enjoy receiving love. It does not mean that you always have to show love in this way, but it would benefit both of you if you did it often. Buying your spouse lots of gifts when their love language is words of affirmation may be a set up for failure. With the same token, we all also have a way in which we enjoy showing our love and that should be honored. Figure out a healthy mix that works for you all.  Have no clue what your spouse’s love language is? Take the quiz here. Once you all know your love languages, be sure to discuss them in your next marriage meeting.

Now that we know how they enjoy receiving love, here are some ideas for each love language:

Being Intentional with Love Languages

Love Language	Ideas
Words of Affirmation	Heartfelt compliments Encouraging notes Sending texts throughout the day Leaving written notes Acknowledge their effort(s)
Acts of service	Help them with a project Wash their car Make their favorite meal Schedule a spa day Do a chore they normally complete
Physical Touch	Give a massage Hug often Wash their hair Hold hands Cuddle while watching TV
Quality Time	Plan a getaway Set aside an hour to enjoy one another Take a walk in your neighborhood Date night at home Read a book together
Receiving Gifts	Buy that item they bring up a lot Stop and get their favorite snack Pay for their day at the salon Send flowers to their job Make a special scented candle for them

The list could truly go on. So again I say, let’s be intentional! Maybe scheduling the little moments doesn’t feel right to you, I understand. Maybe just adding some time during your morning routine to think about “what would make him/her smile today,” will work. This could happen daily or weekly. The point is that it allows you to make a plan and act on it. Let’s be intentional about loving our spouse this year!

Do you know how your significant other enjoys receiving love? Comment below…