Marriage Meetings: A Must!

Marriage Meetings

“Nothing will work unless you do”

-Maya Angelou

I must admit this idea came from my husband! But, I love it so much that I think that every relationship should incorporate these. In fact, I’m surprised that more couples don’t have marriage meetings in their routine. It’s like, why didn’t I think of this sooner? Many of us have worked at jobs where there are mandated meetings that are put in place as check-ins, to relay new changes, analyze current conditions, etc. And if we are truly focused on improving our marriages, we need to be working just as hard as these companies, if not harder to make sure our relationship is on track to succeed.

The gist:

My husband and I strive to have these meetings weekly. Now, with 3 kids and 2 full-time jobs, sometimes it turns into twice a month. So, we are definitely flexible with dates and times, but at this point these meetings are non-negotiable. They seem so simple, but they are so powerful with making sure we are growing with each other and keeping our relationship at the forefront of this marriage. Here are the things we discuss:

• Things that have been going well
• Things we feel have been lacking in our relationship
• Checking on our love tanks (this coincides with our love languages)
• Recognizing something each of us did well for the other (i.e listening, providing, valuing your time, etc.)
• Things we want to work on before the next meeting

Just like with any good conversation, these talking points can lead you into multiple directions. That’s okay! Be open and ALWAYS speak from a place of love. These conversations could leave you feeling vulnerable and that can be tough. Don’t beat yourself up if you have to revisit a topic because you’re not ready or don’t know how to truly express those emotions. But, be sure to do the self-work that is needed to get to that point of opening up. These meetings can only work if both people trust one another with their feelings. If that’s not the case in your relationship right now, start working on that portion first.

The outcome:

Since having these meetings, it has allowed my husband and me to keep the relationship piece of our marriage a priority. So often, the other components of a marriage tend to overshadow the very thing that put this whole courtship into motion…the bond the two of us began with. 

It has also allowed us to reach some of our goals faster. By checking in with each other often, we have become more intentional about working on the goals we have set for our family and our relationship. Before these meetings, we were guilty of saying what we wanted to accomplish, like date night monthly or creating a more peaceful bedroom but, we would just “wait” for it to eventually happen. Now we are knocking down goals, communicating better, and loving the process!

What Helped:

One thing that has allowed us to have these vulnerable conversations with each other, was reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. My husband and I read this book 7 years ago before getting married and it has truly stuck with us and has helped us to understand how to give and receive love from one another. I recommend that every couple reads this book. It will truly take your relationship to the next level! You can take the quiz today at https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/couples-quiz/.

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Have you tried marriage meetings before? How have they benefited you? Comment below: