Keep The Dream in Mind

What happens to a dream deferred?

      Does it dry up

      like a raisin in the sun?

      Or fester like a sore—

      And then run?

-From “Harlem” by Langston Hughes

What are the dreams you have for your relationship? Have you ever thought about that? There needs to be a larger dream than just being and staying together. This is one thing that I believe has kept my husband and me moving forward in our marriage. This concept of keeping the dream in mind has come naturally in my relationship, but I recognize that this is not the case for all.

 So here is what I mean. There are multiple reasons as to why people get married (i.e. financial stability, tradition, love, etc.). And I am not here to judge your reason. Yet, despite the reason, if you want your marriage to continue moving forward there has to be small attainable goals that lead to an even larger dream that you have for your marriage.

The Dream:

I thoroughly believe that once you reach your dreams, God reveals more blessings/tests that require you to reach for higher dreams and set even more goals. So the process is never ending. But, if I had to verbalize one main goal for my marriage, in this season it is: Raising a family that is rooted in love and mental peace, that benefits from financial freedom. This is what we are working for. This is what keeps us moving forward. 

Now, your dream can be as complex or as simple as you want in my opinion, as long as you keep moving forward. Some dreams may be:

• Breaking generational curses (this could look different for different families)
• Providing a home filled with love
• Building a family business

The Goals:

These are things we are putting in place that keep us pressing toward the mark. Some of the goals that my husband and I are working on include:

• Spending dedicated time with our children
• Incorporating date night
• My husband launching his own business
• Having a house built

These goals come with their own action steps and time frames just like any good goal should. Some of them may be ongoing, while others have an end date. All of that can be worked out in your marriage meeting. You can learn about marriage meetings in my previous blog: here and get started today.

Getting on the same page:

What happens when you disagree or life throws a wrench in the plan? (which it will)  Keep moving forward! From my experience, the dream never changes whereas, the smaller goals may. Just like the quote from “Harlem” by Langtson Hughes suggests, putting off a dream may haunt you. It will not be easy to get rid of the memory of a dream you let pass by. So once you and your spouse verbalize the dream you all have, it is okay that how you tackle it may look differently. For example: when it comes to raising kids, one spouse may show love by cooking healthy meals weekly while the other enjoys reading stories with the kids daily. Yet, the overall dream is to raise kids in a loving/caring environment. I would argue that both of these actions/goals are moving you towards that overall dream.

Be flexible with how you get there. Be honest with your spouse about your strengths and weaknesses in regards to the goals that you have set in place. And overall, keep the dream in mind.

What dreams do you have for your marriage? Comment below: